The Parable of a Small Hymnal

This last weekend was General Conference for my church.  It is a wonderful and uplifting time for us to gather together as a people to hear words that we believe come straight from God's living prophets and apostles.  This seems to be, especially for me in the spring, an opportunity to really just go through everything, to kick off spring cleaning.  (When I am not heading down to The Mall to participate in International Pillow Fight Day!)  

This year I took everything out of my room.  I mean everything.  It was like I was moving into my room for the first time.  I was surprised how quickly I was able to get everything out.  But I knew that it was the putting things back together that would be the long part!  

What I found, or more accurately remembered, is just amazing.  

While cleaning, I went to a small cedar chest that sits on my dresser. This is my "treasure chest" and holds the small nick knacks that are precious to me.  I was able to remember my Great Grandmother Arnett and the 2 bead necklaces she made for me before she passed.  I saw the white handkerchiefs that my mother made or that I collected in Young Women's and used for the different temple dedications that I have attended.  I found a precious note written by my Uncle Mike when times were tough.  I have my Young Women Recognition Award necklaces, the Precious Moments plate my mother got for me when I turned 13, I smiled when I saw a couple pictures of my father and I when I was young.  Each of these, plus a few other things, made me smile and allowed me to remember how blessed I was growing up.  I am truly like Nephi when he states "... having been born of goodly parents" (1st Nephi 1:1).

While organizing the contents of my "treasure chest" I came across this little book.  This little book (above) is a miracle that I am still blessed with today.  

While I was a sophomore in high school, I was taken from seminary (a before school class focused on religious study) by a friend.  After school I would go home by bus.  This meant that I would take my scriptures with me everyday from home to church for seminary, from seminary to school, and finally back home.  I kept my scriptures in my locker.

One day I was heading to the bus and I realized I forgot my scriptures and went  to my locker to get them out.  I was surprised when I got to my locker and saw the door was slightly ajar.  I opened the  door, grabbed my jacket, and had just slammed the door closed when I realized I did not get my scriptures out. Upon opening the door again, they were gone.  Nothing was taken out of my locker, but my scriptures, the case they came in, and the little hymnal you see here.  

Because it was a theft, I was required by the school to report it to the officer that was stationed at the school.  I knew going in that there would not be any chance they could do anything.  The cost was too small, no leads to follow, and I did not have any suspects.  

I was devastated.  I had asked special from my parents for a new set of scriptures for my 15th birthday for when I entered high school.  I received a triple combination from my parents and a KJV bible from my grandmother for my baptismal/8th birthday.  But I wanted something that would be for my intense years of study in the scriptures, to get me through seminary in high school and institute in college.  Mom and dad had my name embossed in both the hymnal they surprised me with and my quad.  Even though I was devastated, I had my scriptures from when I was 8, so I was ok and was able to continue on with my seminary classes. 

Scriptures Jamie gave me back in 2000

At the end of my sophomore year, Jamie Christensen, my seminary teacher, surprised me with a gift that I never imagined.  She presented me with a brand new quad.  I was crying with how unexpected and how special the gift was.  She even remembered the color I had missing.  I cannot tell you what it meant to have "my scriptures" back.  

Just a random page showing my study after years of use.

I took those scriptures with me to every seminary and institute class I had.  I brought them with me from Missouri, to Idaho, then onto Virginia and finally Maryland.  Over 14 years I have used these scriptures. Every time I picked up these scriptures I thought of my extraordinary teacher who remembered a lowly sophomore (who was probably a little brat).  She was a new, young mother and just starting out in life, and she thought of me in a way that I have never forgotten.  I think by these pictures you can see how much I loved and used these scriptures.

How my hymnal was found in the spring of 2002

Just before I graduated from high school, I got another surprise gift.  I remember clearly I was sitting on my bed when my father and mother entered my room and dad handed me my little hymnal.  I speechless. Completely  speechless.  Turns out a maintenance worker for an apartment complex was collecting debris from around the property and found my little book.  He turned it into the office.  One of the office workers noticed the name "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints" on the spine and brought it to the missionaries who just happened to be renting an apartment in their complex.  Remember, this is back before the surge in missionaries in the field.  This was the 1 set of missionaries that worked in my town and 2 neighboring towns.  The missionaries recognized my last name because my father was in the bishopric.  My dad, as amazed as I was, was then able to hand my book back to me.  I opened up the book, amazed that it came out so well after 3 years, and found it like this.

I was not happy to see my book burned.  It felt like I was personally slapped on the face and I could not believe that someone would purposefully burn (by cigarette no less) something that was sacred.  Even if I did not believe or hold the object in the same light, I could never burn a Torah or Koran.  It was sentimental and personal.  However, this book stands as a reminder and a witness of how you can never plan or anticipate how things will work out.  

Many times this lesson has been taught and retaught to me as I go through life and new challenges present themselves.  I never thought my life would be the way it is.  I never wanted the life that I now have.  I fantasize how life could have been or how I long for something that I believe is a worthy desire.  However, I go back to my little book and remember that ultimately I give my life to my God and hope that I can do some good.  

While my original set of scriptures are still missing, (and I can only imagine what has happened to them) I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who remembered me last weekend and brought this lesson to me anew. While I struggle with feeling if I am worthy of being called His daughter, feeling like I am faking my way through life, and trying to find a new purpose when what I wanted seems out of reach I remember a loving teacher, I remember a loving Heavenly Father, and I have a little more strength than I had before.  Thank you Heavenly Father for my "Tender Mercy" this week.